Pass the Zanax please.

It appears as though we are on the fast-track to the "terrible twos." I abhor that phrase now that I have a Skeets, because she's not ever really terrible....just extremely independent these days.

The veer & vapors have hit an all time high.
Her cute little Norwegian "ya" has been replaced with a high-pitched "nooooooo."
I try to hold her hand, she yanks it away.
I put my hand on her shoulder and she shrugs it off and runs.

Me: Bea, do you want some breakfast?
Skts: Ya!
Me: Scrams and toast?
Skts: Ya!
I proceed to make her favorite three-course breakfast: a 2-egg omelet with parsley, Birdman bread toast and banana's. Set her in her chair.

Me: Ok, Skeets, here we go, here's your scrams.
Skts: Noooooooo! Nooooooooo! Noooooooo!!!!!
Me: What? Come on, eat some brekkie. (The head-shakes and tongue comes out, makes a face like she's choking?? Where did she learn this shit?!)
Skts: Noooooo! Noooooo! Noooo, Noooo, Nooooo! (then she throws in her monkey sound for good measure) Hooo-Hooo-Hooo-Ha-ha-ha!!

Whatever, I have to get to work. By now Frau's ears perk up at the sound of "Noooooo!!!" because it means he gets the fall-out from breakfast. No sooner have I scraped her entire breakfast into Frau's bowl does she start hollering: "miiiiiiiine!! miiiiiine! mine!" and goes flying towards a scarfing Frau with vengeance on her mind. However, there will be no stepping aside humbly for pugster this time around. No sir, not with fresh hot eggs and buttered toast in his bowl. Puggy plants his paws and refuses to move. Bea veers, vapors and eventually decides to sit on puggy. Doesn't work. Bea then takes the dishtowel and covers pugster's head. No success. I then get the wrath of a very frustrated Skeetie who all of a sudden is intent on eating her breakfast.

Deep breaths, count to ten, do not snap at Skeetie. Just placate so you can get her out the door and yourself to work. "Skeets, want some raisins?" "Ya!" "Are you sure you want raisins?" "Ya! Ya! Ya!"

Once again I have succumbed to the kiddie crack. Yogurt covered raisins. For those of you wondering which stock to purchase, here's a tip: Sun Maid yoghurt covered raisins. We will most likely fund your retirement.

I have a distinct feeling that providing endless boxes of raisins is defined as bad parenting on some babycenter.com website or Dr. Sears book. But since I've disavowed advice from those types of sources, ignorance is bliss. Yet again, Skeetie is eating raisins as her sole source of nutrition. Let me tell you how much fun it is to change the diapers of a child who obsessively eats raisins on an hourly basis.

I have a million more examples of her new-found independence, but don't so much want to harp on them. However we did get into a big row because I wouldn't allow her to drink her bath water. Full on hollering and splashing and rubber duck tossing with a few "hooo-hooo-hoooo-ha-ha-has!!" thrown in. I'm sure if I still subscribed to babycenter.com they would inform me that her "development is right on track for a 17 month old." It would also probably have a sidebar article entitled, "Raisins: nature's junk food?"

Trying not to lose your cool with a 17 mo. old who cannot logically analyze a "situation" with you is quite challenging. But I'm trying real, real hard to just think about it from her point of view. I have a suspiscion that a Zanax may assist in my rationalizing with Skeetie.

Today was a Bea-utifully challenging day.